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Brain-based Coaching Part 2

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© Orson Dreamstime.com - Abstract Speaker Silhouette PhotoIn an earlier post, ” What’s all the fuss about brain-based coaching,” I presented the case for a neuroscience-based approach to coaching (workplace, executive, business–any type of coaching). I also mentioned a foundational idea that guides our brain-based approach: the brain’s primary organizing principle to minimize danger and maximize reward.

Still wondering about its value? Hopefully, this blog will give you additional food for thought.

I’m confident about the need for brain-based coaching given the hundreds of active coaches who have attended programs I’ve delivered who were looking for something more than the coach training they had already completed. Most (you can’t win them all, can you?) came away with something valuable if not a transformational shift in their coaching.

Even my facilitation style has evolved and is now grounded in a brain-based coaching approach. I feel my role when delivering a workshop is to be a “facilitator of insight,” rather than a platform trainer who “guides” participants to the “correct answer” through more (what I’d call) leading questions. I didn’t mean to step on any toes there; it’s my journey talking.

Brain-based coaching is a lot about “high intent with low attachment,” which is easier said than done. Our inclination is to solve someone else’s problem with OUR idea doesn’t go away. You still haves ideas and you still want to SHARE them. A brain-based coach simply gets better at “gating” that reaction. With experience, a brain-based coach starts to realize that clients really DO like their own ideas best and the coach’s suggestion is often more interesting to the coach than to the client.

That’s NOT to say executives and businesspeople don’t want you to bring some experience or know-how to the table. They do! For a brain-based coach, however, it’s about determining whether in a coaching conversation or session there is a NEED to share or suggest AND, if so, when and HOW to share. A brain-based coach will also be more explicit about what “role” they are adopting with a client given the situation, its context, and the client’s stated and unstated needs. I’ll often refer to switching hats in a conversation, e.g., “Would you like me to take off my coaching hat and put on my consulting hat?”

“I already do all of that,” a coach might say.

Watching hundreds of coaches in action in programs and as a mentor coach or coaching client tells me otherwise. Even newer brain-based coaches need some “seasoning” time. How much? About 6 to 12 months from my observations. We all know it takes time to form new habits and brain-based coaching goes against the grain of our normal human inclinations. I often refer to brain-based coaching as a “delayed gratification” style of coaching. For those of you who LOVE being “the expert” or “the answer person” or “Mr./Ms./Mrs. Fix-it,” you will not like being a brain-based coach UNLESS you reframe that preference. The shift is moving from being a “content” expert to becoming a “process” expert. You develop an expertise in your coaching process and let your clients remain the expert on their: situation, business, people, challenges, issues, goals, preferences…

“So what is my value as a brain-based coach,” you might ask.

You offer tremendous value as a brain-based coach. You honor your client’s brain by understanding its limitations. You help them overcome the “rush to action” by slowing them down and giving them space to look at things differently, while keeping an eye on the high level cognitively irritating or expensive things. You can help them come up with new ideas by speeding up the brain’s “insight” mechanism. You know which brain networks are triggered or required in different coaching scenarios and how to strengthen the more valuable networks. Put simply, you work with your client’s brain instead of against it. And that’s not as simple as it sounds.

If you have questions about brain-based coaching or want to improve your leadership, management, teaching or coaching approach, email Paul@Response-AbleConsulting.com.

How confident are you in your decision making?

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Grab the wheel from your emotional brain.

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“We’re not that far removed from the caves.”

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?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Disclaimer: While this post was tragically prompted by events in Mina, Saudi Arabia, the fundamental idea applies to human behavior and the human brain in general terms across all countries and cultures.

I was at an event several years ago and overheard a researcher say something to the effect of, “We’re not that far removed from the caves.” Surely, a provocative statement at first blush, but stay with it a while longer and apply it to the events going on in the world today (heck, possibly over ALL of human existence) and you might begin to see his point.

In fact, I was reading a New York Times article just this morning (Sep 25, 2015) related to the human tragedy in Mina, Saudi Arabia in which hundreds of pilgrims were killed or injured in a mass stampede during the annual Islamic pilgrimage to Mecca. The article I’m referencing mentioned other similar tragedies of human panic, stampedes, and deaths: Duisburg, Germany in 2010 and Cincinnati, Ohio in 1979 to name two.

The article goes on to mention several factors that may have contributed to the tragedy: uncertainty, fear, panic, heat, exhaustion.

What’s the link to neuroscience?

All of these factors–considered threats to the brain–can quickly trigger the limbic system’s “fight or flight” response and shut down (or significantly impair) our higher level cognitive functioning. Normally, a stampede is something you equate with animals. But when humans panic, our brain functioning becomes very automatic and reactive, much like an animal reacts to a threat–not much thought, just action.

Tragedies like the one in Mina are terrible reminders of what can go wrong when our  reptilian brain takes charge of the show and makes decisions for us (according to the scientists, as much of 95% of our daily behavior in non-conscious).

Our failure to notice and manage (i.e., regulate) these inner signals can be catastrophic. It is our ability to be aware of these quick shifts in our brain state and regulate them that can literally be the difference between life and death.

And that brings us back to the subject of this post, “We are not that far removed from the caves.” While examples abound about this propensity, it turns out that there is a silver lining (as I often find when it comes to the human brain). Most of the time, crowds can get it right in the face of threat and danger. We can leverage the brain’s neuroplasticity (ability to change itself) and strengthen our self-awareness, social awareness, and self-regulation muscles and maintain a more cognitive response to danger.

Put another way, we can gain a little more “distance from the caves” and continue our higher evolution as humans. (Stay tuned for how…)

Related references:
http://www.brainresource.co.il/db/content/rn847n75.pdf
http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/Pains&Pleasures(2008).pdf
http://www.academia.edu/877636/Everyone_for_themselves_A_comparative_study_of_crowd_solidarity_among_emergency_survivors
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/02/07/crush-point
http://www.researchgate.net/publication/233287586_Violent_and_peaceful_crowd_reactions_in_the_Middle_East_cultural_experiences_and_expectations
http://www.crowdsafe.com/FruinCauses.pdf
Photo credit: © FabioBerti Dreamstime.com

So you really think you’re brain-friendly?

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Disclaimer: I might step on some of your toes with this blog post.

I’ve delivered hundreds of brain-based programs to thousands of people over the past 10 years and am often dismayed (but not surprised) when I come across a person who says, “I already know this,” or “I already do that,” but when you watch them in action and listen to them in conversation–it is clear they do not.

Some of the reasons for this are linked to the brain itself. It feels good to the brain to think it is good at something (“I already do that”). It feels good to feel we are better than others (“I already know that”). It also feels painful to the brain to not know something or to find out you didn’t know something.

Another common mistake I’ve seen is people who think a brain-friendly or coach-like approach is all about questioning. While questioning is a significant piece of the puzzle, it is the kinds and types of questions you ask that truly make the difference (I’ll be speaking on this more at the Partners in Business – Operation Excellence conference).

I’ve come to believe there are seven (7) fundamental conversations we engage in at work, whether it be the classroom, the conference room, or the boardroom:

  1. Goals
  2. Plans
  3. Steps
  4. Follow-up
  5. Problems
  6. Performance issues
  7. Blind Spots

Just as there are seven conversation types, we think there are seven types of questions that are related to or relevant for each of these conversations (there is even a “special case” type 8). And there is different neuroscience research that supports each of these conversations, some foundational, some you might call more “type-related.”

For instance, “Conversation 7 – Blind Spots” refers to actions that are more non-conscious or “blind” to the people performing them. The brain loves to make things automatic so it doesn’t have to spend precious (and limited) energy to rethink every action we take. The very nature of it being automatic means it doesn’t require conscious thought or effort. That’s good (do you want to relearn how to brush your teeth every day?!) AND it can be costly in some ways. We can be automatic about things that require a bit more conscious thought or we can do or say something without even realizing we haven’t given it a conscious thought. Helping someone with a blind spot involves raising his awareness in a way that doesn’t overly engage the “fight or flight” response (governed by the limbic system). Asking “presence” or “learning” questions can help shift someone’s brain into a more quiet state and allow her to “see” themselves in action in order to make more conscious decisions.

This is but one example across the seven conversations. Things are even more complicated by the fact that our brain strives to minimize danger multiple times every second. It is our primary organizing principle (E. Gordon, 2001). This hypersensitivity to threats effects our questioning approach. We tend to hyper-focus on danger (a.k.a. problems) and “question into” them.

And that brings me back to my disclaimer. I don’t fault or judge the people who say, “I already do that,” or “I already know that.” Many do. But in some cases, the person’s brain has taken over (it’s usually in charge without us being aware!) and the questions he asks are not the best he might ask.

When you truly understand the brain, you can begin to change the way you show up and you can start to behave in a much more brain-friendly way–starting with the questions you ask.

You’ll be amazed at the results you can get.

So you think you know you? Think again.

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© 2005-2008 FMRIB Centre

                © 2005-2008 FMRIB Centre

“There is a very long history within psychology of people not being very good judges of what they will actually do in a future situation.”

These words are from  Matthew Lieberman, Ph.D., the co-founding father of the field of social cognitive neuroscience, the Director of UCLA’s Social Cognitive Neuroscience Lab, and the author of the book “Social.”

Why is his statement important?  

Because the field of neuroscience, including Matt and his colleagues’ pioneering work, is helping us to better understand what is going on in our very unique and complex brains. And things are not always what they appear to be.

And  why is  that important? 

Because all of us want results: in life, at home, at work, in school. We are all trying to achieve something, and if you understand the brain and know how to work with it—instead of against it—you can improve your chances.

How do I know that? 

Because I’ve spent the past 10 years learning to understand the brain, how it functions, its limitations, what is common among us, and what is different between us when it comes to what is literally inside of our heads. I’ve delivered hundreds of programs to thousands of people and watched transformations take place when people learn how to honor the brain (which, by the way, honors the person to whom that brain belongs!).

What  am I talking about? 

Did you know that the brain is wired to be empathetic to people who share our racial group. This is linked to our very primal and basic need to survive (if he looks like us, he’s probably safe). We think—and say—we are sensitive to the pain of those who are not like us but the brain tells a different story. In a study that examined the empathetic pain reactions of two ethnic groups, each group was more empathetic to the “pain” of their own racial group, despite reporting a similar reaction to the other racial group’s pain. As one study [1] puts it, “Race has been demonstrated as a feature impossible to ignore in facial processing [38],[58]–[60], even when race is implicit and not relevant to the participant’s task. Thus, it is possible that race may cause an automatic and bottom-up bias in empathic neural activation to pain. It may be that the neural processing for differentiation of race operates at a more basic level than broader social distinctions. “

What they mean by “bottom-up” you can think of as unconscious or automatic behavior. Another way of putting it is the brain has made a choice without your involvement. And that unconscious choice is informing your behavior. When you understand what is happening, you can begin to employ tactics to overcome this kind of automatic brain functioning. This is particularly of value when you look at what is happening in current day America.

Another fundamental idea we work with is based on Evian Gordon’s 1-2-4 Integrate Model [2]. The “1” in Evan’s model refers to the brain’s “primary organizing principle,” which is to minimize danger and maximize reward. This principle leans strongly to the favor of minimizing danger and is a powerful example of our dominant need to survive. It also links back to Matt’s work in that many of the dangers we face are social, rather than physical, in nature. And these social threats place us in a state of conspicuously low cognitive functioning.

In essence, we become automatic when faced with “social threats” and end up doing and saying things that don’t often work in our favor—although they do keep us alive, from the brain’s perspective.

We help leaders and managers learn how to better manage social threats, maintain cognitive functioning AND improve the nature of their interactions so they achieve the things that are most important to them.

Put another way, it’s not just about surviving—it’s about truly living.

________

[1] http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0084001

[2] The integrate model of emotion, thinking and self regulation: an application to the “paradox of aging”. Journal of integrative neuroscience, 7 (3), 367-404.

Recent Findings (3 & 4) about the Brain

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This is the second in a series of three articles that present six recent discoveries about the brain that help explain our success—and failure—as it relates to living our lives and working towards our personal and professional goals (this information is based on the coaching model I use and the intellectual property of Results Coaching Systems).

In the last article, I suggested you stop using your head and start using your brain. I also mentioned the first two recent findings about the brain: 1) The Brain Is a Connection Machine and 2) No Two Brains Are Even Remotely Alike.

This article, the focus is on Finding #3: The Brain Works to Hardwire Everything and Finding #4: Perception Is Driven by Our Hardwiring. I’ll present each finding and then how you can apply it in work, business, and/or life.

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Recent Findings (1 & 2) about the Brain

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Would you like to know a secret to being more productive, more effective, more fulfilled?

Here it is: Use your brain.

Seems simple but it’s not. In fact, your brain is often “sabotaging” you without you even knowing it.

How?

Your brain likes to conserve energy. It doesn’t want to work hard. It wants to make everything habitual so it literally doesn’t have to think. For the most part, we couldn’t survive if the brain didn’t work this way. Can you imagine if every day you had to relearn how to walk, talk, drive, brush your teeth, etc.? While these routines serve us well, other habits we’ve created may not.

So how do you harness the power of the brain to get what you want?

You just need to understand how the brain works. (And, no, you don’t need to be a brain surgeon!)

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