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:: Ask the Coach!

Why is it that some goals seem to never materialize?

Dear Paul,

Welcome to the Winter 2009 NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER.

Can you believe it’s 2010?!? I can’t. But I believe this will be a year of firsts: first year of the new decade, first year of a US economic recovery, first year as a dad (really!). I’m excited about all of the possibilities.

So rather than talk about resolutions, let’s focus on continuing our journey toward success, happiness, fulfillment. In fact, let’s focus on living this year like it was our last, even though it’s a first!

Did I confuse you? Read on.

Coach’s Corner
Starting at the End

What I’ve noticed from my own and from others’ experiences is that an emotional connection to the goal is necessary for its achievement.

Many times, people create what I call “should” goals for themselves: “I should eat better,” “I should manage my time more effectively,” “I should be more patient with my employees” and on and on.

The problem is, it takes energy to focus on and work toward a goal and there needs to be a strong payoff for the brain and body to expend that energy. The brain’s normal state is to remain on alert for threats. As soon as we start to think, we’re using up precious resources and energy. The brain will resist this.

Create enough of an emotional pull (achieve a positive) OR push (avoid a negative) and you will create internal motivation.

The brain doesn’t want to do the work but it loves the payoff of having done the work — and it wants more of that payoff.

One way to create that emotional pull or push is to picture yourself on your deathbed and consider your life if you did or didn’t accomplish your goal. This will often help you cut to the chase to whether the goal is a true goal or a “should” goal.

Stephen Covey calls it “Begin with the End in Mind.”

I call it good thinking.

Schedule a Powerful Goal Setting Session

Ask the Coach!

“Hey Paul, I’ve got this situation…”

Issue: I’m not excited about my goals. I can’t seem to make any progress.

Coach: As mentioned in the Coach’s Corner above, most of the time when people are not making progress on their goals it is because they are not truly connected to their goals on a deep emotional level. What I mean by that is a person is probably not excited about achieving the goal, he is not inspired by it, it is not materially or tangibly significant for her to accomplish. (Sometimes, it’s simply an untimely goal.)

There are hundreds of continuous external messages bombarding us to behave a certain way, to look a certain way, to fit in, to keep up. This can result in setting goals that we think are important but we end up disconnected from. For instance, when was the last time you achieved a goal you set and felt nothing or even let down? I believe this is because it is not YOUR goal, it is society’s goal for you. Make sense?

SUGGESTION: Start thinking about what would truly make your life worthwhile and examine your current goals in light of that. Consider whether the goals you currently have are your true goals or society’s goals for you. Then reset and reconnect to your goals!

Most of us wrestle with similar situations and questions. If you have a burning question or issue you want to resolve, send it to me and we’ll address it here.

Note: All identities remain completely confidential (no real names will be used).

Have an issue, ASK THE COACH!

In the Professional Spotlight
Beyond Nutrition Balanced Solutions

Every issue, I recognize one very special colleague from my growing network. This issue, I’m spotlighting Marianne Bellino, CHC MBA — founder of Beyond Nutrition Balanced Solutions.

Marianne is a Wellness Coach, Educator, and Consultant.

Marianne specializes in nutrition, fitness, and life/stress/time management solutions for individuals and corporations. Her programs and services are customized to provide a simple strategy: Be Healthy, Be Organized, Be Efficient, Be Balanced™. Marianne understands first-hand how the demands and stresses of a busy lifestyle can affect your health. She has been able to reap the rewards of a balanced lifestyle and is passionate about helping others to do the same.

If there’s one thing I realize, it’s that we need energy to pursue our goals, realize our dreams, and live our passions. Marianne can help you maximize your health and create the energy you need to live your life to the fullest.

Contact Marianne by email or by phone 917.250.0267 to schedule a consultation.

Check out the BNBS website

Quotes On …
Energy

“Energy and persistence alter all things.” ~Benjamin Franklin

“And what is a man without energy? Nothing – nothing at all.” ~Mark Twain

“A strong, successful man is not the victim of his environment. He creates favorable conditions. His own inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as he desires.” ~Orison Swett Marden

”

Energy is an eternal delight, and he who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence

.” ~William Blake

“If I would be happy, I would be a bad ballplayer. With me, when I get mad, it puts energy in my body.” ~Roberto Clemente

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” ~Thomas A. Edison

“The key that unlocks energy is desire. It’s also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited.” ~Earl Nightingale

“You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.” ~Sheilah Graham

“Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all you energies on a limited set of targets.” ~Nido Qubein

“See where your own energy wants to go, not where you think it should go. Do something because it feels right, not because it makes sense. Follow the spiritual impulse.” ~Mary Hayes-Grieco

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.” ~William James

2010 Kickoffer

Half Price
Executive
Coaching
Session

Who checks your thinking?

Most busy executives are not getting the information they need to properly manage their operation. Valuable information gets watered down (or totally stifled) the further “up the chain” it goes. After all, no one likes to give the boss bad news. Unfortunately, bad information can only results in bad decisions and even worse results.

As an executive, when was the last time you had the space to think through your top issues, an objective yet challenging voice in the room, and a level of accountability that facilitated staying on track and achieving your objectives? If your answer is seldom to never, perhaps it’s time you tried working with an executive coach.

I understand, times are still tough. Be one of the first four executives to contact me and receive a 50% discount off the 2009 rate for your first coaching session!

The rate for an executive coaching session usually starts around $250 but the first four executives who contact me by Feb 28 will receive it for only $125 — that’s a small investment for a potentially significant payoff!

Use this offer for yourself or send it to a colleague, a direct report, a client, a customer, a friend, a family member — anyone you think is serious about being more successful, fulfilled, and satisfied with their work and their life.

Feel free to call (516.216.4233) or email (paul@response-ableconsulting.com) to reserve YOUR session.

For more information about Response-Able Consulting and our brain-based approach to coaching, visit our website.

Offer Expires: February 28, 2010

By working with how your brain works, we can facilitate positive change and help you get from where you are to where you want to be more quickly.

If there are issues keeping you awake at night, please share them with us and we’ll address them in future newsletters. I hope you found this issue useful.

(We typically distribute our NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER once each quarter.)

Sincerely,

Paul McGinniss, PCC SBL(R) MSHR

Coaching for Work | Business | Life

Response-Able Consulting Inc.

e: paul@response-ableconsulting.com

o: 516.216.4233

w: https://www.response-ableconsulting.com

Also, check out Divorce Coaching for Men, a one-of-a-kind program created by a man for men dealing with divorce.

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2009 Fall Newsletter

November 30, 2009/0 Comments/in NEWS-you-can-use-LETTERS/by response_admin

Response-Able Consulting NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER Coaching for Work \| Business \| Life Fall 2009

What’s News…

:: Ask the Coach!

Welcome to the Fall 2009 NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER.

I’ve always found that awareness is the first step toward creating change. So in this issue I offer a few key resources you can take advantage of to help you maximize your thinking and your results.

I guess knowledge really IS power.

Read on!

Coach’s Corner
“Your Brain at Work”

For those of you who have heard me speak about coaching, you know I use a unique brain-based approach that was created by Results Coaching Systems and its founder, David Rock.

David is a powerhouse of a thinker and has released two new books this year. I bought both. The book I’m mentioning here is “Your Brain at Work.” It tells the story of “Emily” and “Paul” and allows us to travel inside their brains as they attempt to sort through the vast quantities of information they’re presented with, figure out how to prioritize it, organize it, and act on it. The book shows how it’s possible for Emily and Paul–and thus you the reader–not only to survive in today’s overwhelming work environment, but to succeed in it and still feel energized and accomplished at the end of the day.

Does that interest you? If yes, pick up this book. Why? Because I feel so strongly about the work David is doing and the promise it holds for us at work and, more importantly, in life, that I believe you need to and will benefit from reading it.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Ask the Coach!
“Hey Paul, I’ve got this situation…”

Most of us wrestle with similar situations and questions. If you have a burning question or issue you want to resolve, send it to me and we’ll address it here.

Issue: I’m feeling overwhelmed and unfocused.

Coach: How clear are you about what it is you’re trying to accomplish or where you’re heading in life, at work, with your relationships, health, faith…? If you’re crystal clear, how connected are you emotionally to accomplishing these things? By when? How?

Most of the time, when we are unfocused or overwhelmed it’s because we have not clearly and specifically identified a significant emotional goal (or goals), which usually causes us to say “yes” to anything to fill that void. We’re busy, but not fulfilled. Saying “yes” to everything quickly fills our plate to overflowing. I like to say, there is no tool to help you get 12 pounds in a 10 pound bag. You’ve got to lose 2 pounds (or more!). Stepping back and identifying some truly inspiring goals is a way of clearing the plate and getting focused and back in control of your time.

Note: All identities remain completely confidential (no real names will be used).

Have an issue, ASK THE COACH!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

In the Professional Spotlight
Long Island Coaching Alliance

Usually, I use this space to recognize one very special colleague in my growing network. This issue, I’m spotlighting an event offered by the Long Island Coaching Alliance (LICA).

LICA-an International Coach Federation Chapter, serves Long Islanders and the coaches who serve them!

The Alliance is offering a powerful event, “How to Thrive in Today’s World” on Sunday, Nov 1 from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. at Farmingdale State College. The objective of this program is to provide resources and information to help you better navigate through these tough times.

Here’s what you’ll experience:

Keynote Address from Judy Martin of News 12 Long Island, Founder of WorkLifeNation.com and recipient of our Inspiration of the Year Award
Panel Discussion featuring:
– Rita Kohn Chingas, Senior Vice President, Dawn Taylor Associates, Inc.
– Jed Morey, Publisher, Long Island Press
– Siobhan M. Murphy, MCC, Founder and Past President, Long Island Coaching Alliance; and Chief Evolutionary Officer and Owner, Quest Coaching International
– Bernie Siegel, PCC, President, International Coach Federation-New York City; and Executive Development, Career Management Coach, and Strategist
Networking Opportunities for Attendees
Exhibition of New York’s Top Coaches

Smart people don’t give up – they go out and find the answers they need. If you’re looking for answers, you need to attend this event. I know I’ll be there!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Quotes On …
Awareness

“I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion.” ~Billie Jean King

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” ~Nathaniel Branden

“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” ~Stephen R. Covey

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck

“Know thyself.” ~Socrates

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Identify
Your
Inspiring Goals
for
Half Price!

Are you exactly where you want to be?

If not, you need to start thinking and acting differently to change your results.

I know that can sound scary – so I have the tools and models to help you create change and take control in a powerful and fulfilling way.

Be one of the first five people in October, November, or December to request a 30-minute goal setting session and I’ll give you a 50% discount!

This powerful goal setting session usually runs $100 but the first five people who ask for it in each month will get it for only $50 — that’s a small investment with a big payoff!

Use this offer for yourself or send it to a colleague, client, customer, friend, family member — anyone you think is serious about being more successful, fulfilled, and satisfied with their work and life.

Feel free to call (516.216.4233) or email (paul@response-ableconsulting.com) to reserve YOUR goal setting session.

For more information about Response-Able Consulting and our brain-based approach to coaching, visit our website.

Offer Expires: December 31, 2009

Response-Able Consulting uses a variety of brain-based coaching models to help workplace and business leaders create the kind of results that support achieving their life’s work, vision, and purpose.

By working with how your brain works, we can facilitate positive change and help you get from where you are to where you want to be more quickly.

We typically distribute our NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER once each quarter. If there are issues keeping you awake at night, please share them with us and we’ll address them in future newsletters. I hope you found this issue useful.

Sincerely,

Paul McGinniss, PCC SBL(R) MSHR

Coaching for Work | Business | Life

Response-Able Consulting Inc.

email: paul@response-ableconsulting.com

phone: 516.216.4233

web: https://www.response-ableconsulting.com

Also, check out Divorce Coaching for Men: Surviving the Fog of Divorce, a one-of-a-kind Divorce Coaching Program for Men created by a man, for men.

Clearly Communicate Expectations

November 30, 2009/0 Comments/in Blog/by response_admin

I must be easily amazed.

Two posts ago I wrote about how amazed I was at leaders who put up with poor performers. In this post, I want to express my amazement at how many leaders think their employees know what is expected of them.

Whenever I’m faced with an employee performance issue, the first question I ask a leader is, “Does the employee know what is expected of them?”

The answer is usually, “Of course!”

I then ask, “Have you specifically communicated that expectation to the employee?”

The reply is usually, “They should know that!”

Let’s be frank here, employees are not mind readers (well, most are not). Unless you tell an employee in clear specific terms what you expect from them, you should expect a gap in performance.

What should be included when communicating your expectations? Think of the questions a reporter is trained to ask:

Who? Who is involved, who is doing what, who has authority or responsibility for the task.
What? what exactly do you expect in terms of an output or completed task. Include qualitative and quantitative measures. For qualitative measures, use a Lipert scale of expected output.
When? When should the task be completed, what is the deadline. Include milestone deliverables with dates AND times.
Where? Where should the employee turn for help, resources…
Why? You might forget this but it’s important to help tie the task to the larger departmental or organizational impact.
How? Leave this one to the employee, providing only required spending or other operational (or moral/ethical) guidelines. Give too much “how” and you become a micro-manager.

Before you take progressive or disciplinary action on an employee for poor performance, ask yourself, “Have I truly communicated my performance expectations in clear and specific terms?”

Then ask yourself, “Did I give them an opportunity to restate to me their understanding of and commitment to those expectations?”

If you’re not sure of the answer to either of these questions, write down your expectations and schedule a meeting with the employee.

Perhaps the issue facing you is one of communication and not poor performance.

Why Are You Putting Up with Poor Performers?!?!

August 31, 2009/0 Comments/in Blog/by response_admin

I’m simply amazed at leaders, managers and business owners who put up with poor performers (I’m not talking about you, of course).

Maybe I can reframe the situation and see if I can help those leaders think any differently about it.

Imagine it’s not a poor performer working for your company but instead a person, we’ll call him Henry*, dating your daughter (play along with me).

Would you allow Henry:

Enjoy Engage Extend

July 16, 2009/0 Comments/in Blog/by response_admin

I tweeted recently about one way to look at (and create) happiness that employs three pieces:

1. Enjoyment – this has to do with pleasure and doing things we enjoy (eating chicken wings, watching a movie…)

2. Engagement – this involves doing what we’re good at; using our talents (singing, playing drums, making people laugh…)

3. Meaning – this is about reaching beyond ourselves and our own pleasure and fulfillment and sharing our gifts with our extended community (charity, volunteering, philanthropy…)

A personal example:

2009 Summer Newsletter

July 14, 2009/0 Comments/in NEWS-you-can-use-LETTERS/by response_admin

Response-Able Consulting NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER Coaching for Work \| Business \| Life Summer 2009

What’s News…

:: Ask the Coach!

Usually, I use this space to recognize one very special colleague in my growing network. This issue, I’m recognizing a bunch of colleagues that make-up the Midtown Networking Group.

Welcome to our Summer 2009 NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER.

This issue is all about stop, drop (what you’re doing) and check-in.

And it’s about beginning a formal dialog within the community of this newsletter’s expanding readership (that’s you) to begin making the kinds of concrete positive changes in your work and lives you’ve been thinking of and perhaps not realizing (yet!).

Let’s get started!

Coach’s Corner
What’s Going On?!

My sister, Nancy, recently got married and my brothers, my wife and a friend and I were “the band” for the reception party (we rocked!). One of my sister’s favorite songs is by 4 Non-Blondes and it’s called “What’s Up” or as we affectionately call it, “What’s Going On?”

Given summer has recently arrived (in my neck of the world) and we’ve quietly slipped into July, now is a good time to be asking yourself, “What’s going on” — with your work, your career, your department (if you’re a manager), your business unit (if you’re a leader)…

Taking time to step away from tactical decisions and check-in on your goals and strategies is critically valuable time. Stephen Covey calls it Quadrant 2 time. Some people think it’s a waste of time, sitting around and thinking. Let me ask you, if your actions were taking you off-track from your goals, wouldn’t you want to know sooner rather than later? Here’s a few more questions to think about for your mid-year review:

– What are your specific written goals and strategies?

– How on- or off-track are you at this point?

– What will you do to course correct, if necessary?

– What other opportunities can you take advantage of or create?

– Who will check your thinking?

– Who will ask you the tough questions about your your plans?

These are just a few of the questions you might ask yourself. The main thing is, are you heading in the right direction and how objective is your viewpoint?

If you’re interested in finding out more about what it’s like to work with a professionally trained and certified coach, feel free to contact me with your questions by email or by phone, 516.216.4233, no strings attached.

Ask the Coach!

“Hey Paul, I’ve got this situation…”

Each of us is faced with issues, questions, challenges, problems, opportunities, dilemmas… Some times, what we need is to step away from it all and clear a space to think through it–differently. That’s what this section is all about.

There’s a notion that roughly 80% of what small business owners face are similar issues. The other 20% is specific to their industry, niche, or product.

I believe the same is true of people, that 80% of what you deal with on a day-to-day basis is similar to what others are managing: money, health, relationships, family, hobbies, energy, friendships, living spaces, personal effectiveness. So one person’s question usually benefits many other people.

This is where you can create that space and ask those questions AND it will remain completely confidential (no actual names will be used).

So if there’s an issue or opportunity you’ve been wrestling with for longer than you care to admit, send it to me and we’ll address it in my Blog (for the sake of time) and present it in the next issue (for the benefit of our readers).

Go ahead, ASK THE COACH!

In the Professional Spotlight
Midtown Networking Group

Mind you, this is no ordinary networking group. This is a group of people totally committed to each other’s business success and focused on building long-term relationships.

These are also not your typical “got a lead/get a lead” or “how many you got” networking meetings. We seek first to build a relationship, then to help build each other’s businesses.

The group represents over two dozen non-competing professional categories. If you’re in need of a particular resource or are unhappy with a current vendor, check us out. You’ll probably find someone (or two or three) of value.

Visit Midtown Networking Group

Quotes On …
Planning

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now,” ~Alan Lakein

“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning,” ~Winston Churchill

“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan,” ~ Tom Landry

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan,” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

figure at crossroads “Have a plan. Follow the plan, and you’ll be surprised how successful you can be. Most people don’t have a plan. That’s why it’s easy to beat most folks,” ~ Paul ‘Bear’ Bryant

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable,” ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

“A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door,” ~ Confucius

“If we could first know where we are, and whither we are tending, we could better judge what to do, and how to do it,” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“Would you tell me which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get,” said the Cat.
“I really don’t care where,” replied Alice.
“Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
~ Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1865)

Response-Able Consulting uses a variety of brain-based coaching models to help successful businesspeople create the kind of business or work that supports achieving their life’s vision.

By working with how your brain works, we can facilitate positive change and help you get from A to B more quickly.

Sincerely,

Paul McGinniss, PCC SBL(R) MSHR

Coaching for Work | Business | Life

Response-Able Consulting Inc.

email: paul@response-ableconsulting.com

phone: 516.216.4233

web: https://www.response-ableconsulting.com

Also, check out Divorce Coaching 4 Men: Surviving the Fog of Divorce, a one-of-a-kind Divorce Coaching Program for Men created by a man, for men.

50% off to First Five People in Jul, Aug & Sep

Want to take charge of things?

Then it’s time get clear and create some certainty in your life. It’s time to (re)set some goals.

Because I feel so strongly about the power of written goals, I’m offering a 50% discount to the first five people who contact me and request a 60-minute goal setting session in either Jul, Aug, or Sep 2009.

This powerful goal setting session usually runs $150 but the first five people who ask for it in Jul, Aug, and Sep will get it for only $75!

Why? Because I think everyone deserves to be happy and live a fulfilled life and I want to do my part to help make that happen.

Use this coupon for yourself or give it to a colleague, client, customer, friend, family member — anyone you think is serious about being more successful, fulfilled, and satisfied with their life.

Feel free to call (516.216.4233) or email (paul@response-ableconsulting.com) me with any questions you might have.

For more information about Response-Able Consulting and our brain-based approach to coaching, visit our website.

Offer Expires: Sep 30, 2009

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2009 Spring Newsletter

March 31, 2009/0 Comments/in NEWS-you-can-use-LETTERS/by response_admin

Response-Able Consulting NEWS-you-can-use-LETTER Coaching for Work \| Business \| Life Spring 2009

What’s News…

:: Divorce Coaching 4 Men