Bridge Leadership Newsletter

Christmas Edition 2008

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Take Care of Yourself

To Take Care of Your Team

In this special Christmas edition, Justin Bridge gives practical advice on how to be an effective leader in a crisis like the current one.

I was not planning to write yet another article about the economic crisis and about what leaders can do to keep their people motivated and focused while slashing budgets and cutting headcount. However, in the course of my work with leaders in the UK and across the world, client after client has been asking me the same question: “How do I lead effectively when business is so bad, the future is so uncertain, and I cannot promise anyone that he or she will still have a job next year?”

This article is my response to these questions. I set out a number of things that I observe the most effective leaders do in difficult times. Surprisingly (because leadership is usually considered to be about taking care of other people), much of this revolves around you taking care of yourself. It is just like in this familiar announcement:

In case of a loss of cabin pressure oxygen masks will be released from the ceiling. Take and fit your own mask first before helping children and other passengers.

Managing the emotional state of your people is paramount – this is what leadership is all about. But before you can effectively manage the emotional state of others, you must manage your own. As leader, your most important task is to resist the temptation of giving in to feelings of doom and gloom.

Before I present my practical advice I need to manage your expectations: None of the things I am about to say are easy. In fact, many of them are hard at the best of times. On the other hand, sometimes the smallest gestures from a leader can have the most profound impact.

For each of the pieces of advice that I offer in the following paragraphs, ask yourself (and answer honestly): “What would be the impact on me if my boss did this? And what would be the impact on me if my boss did the exact opposite?” Then draw your own conclusions about whether it is helpful or not.

1 Do EVERYTHING you can to become calm and optimistic

Emotions are highly contagious. This is reflected in numerous well-known sayings (“Smile and the whole world smiles with you”), and there is also a scientific explanation. Our emotional systems are “open-loop”, which means they can be affected by the emotions of others. Sensing the emotions of those around us and acting accordingly is how we manage to exist alongside each other. Without it we would be unable to share humour and sadness, anger or love. Adapting to the mood of others is something we have evolved to be able to do in order to survive.

As leader you have a greater ability to influence the mood of a group than anyone else in that group. Your emotions will almost inevitably be picked up by those around you and hence it is fundamental that you manage your own mood. Perhaps the most important thing you can do when things are gloomy is to remain calm about the current situation and optimistic about the future.

But how do you calm the storm of pessimistic feelings inside you? How do you become relaxed and optimistic when the world around you seems to be falling apart? - Well, I cannot offer you a magic solution but here are some things to try:

Become hyper-aware of your emotional state: First, learn to become aware of your mood on a daily and even hourly basis. ALL emotional learning starts with self-awareness. It sounds trivial and even a little mundane. But it is a first step that will lead quickly to more effective leadership. Ask yourself on a frequent basis, “how am I feeling right now? What emotion am I experiencing? What is my mood?” - I invite you to make a record of this day by day. .

Be aware of how you pass on emotions: Next, when you have greater awareness of your emotional state, ask yourself “in what ways am I communicating my mood and emotions to the people around me?” As I said earlier, human beings are super-sensitive to the emotional state of their boss because in the course of evolution their survival depended on it. So, whether you like it or not, people will pick up on your feelings and you need to be aware of how you are communicating them before you can do anything about it.

Control your emotions: If the emotions you are communicating are negative, you absolutely have to find a way to control them. “Hang on,” I hear you say, “I thought that modern leadership was about being open with your feelings and honest about what is going on.” Yes … but not if the net impact of doing so will be negative. Imagine if the Prime Minister, President of the United States or any powerful leader shared their true feelings about the state of the world! What would we think? How would we feel? Chances are there would be panic on a global scale. Whatever the effect, it would most certainly be negative. I think Nelson Mandela put it best when he said that one of the greatest burdens of leadership is that you cannot (indeed must not) always show people what you are feeling.

Polar explorer Earnest Shackleton who led the doomed mission to cross Antarctica on foot in 1914 knew that sharing his feelings of helplessness and despair – however fleeting they were – would sow doubt and panic among the crew. And this, he knew, would lead to certain death. And so he would spend whole days hidden in his tent when he felt down, giving an excuse of a migraine or similar as the reason for his self-quarantine.

If you have moments when you feel helpless and pessimistic, recognise that these emotions will probably pass in a day or two. Also, understand that you cannot afford to show them to your people. You can share the seriousness of the situation but not, always, your feelings about it. Try to work from home or find a way to improve your emotional state “in the moment”. Exercise during lunch, take time out to meditate, or do breathing exercises. Listen to a favourite piece of music on your iPod or go for a walk. In fact, do anything that lightens your mood and enables you to return to the fray in a more positive and constructive state of mind.

Some people I know have a page of quotes from leaders and writers they know and admire to help them maintain a perspective on life. A favourite of mine is one by Lou Holtz, the American football coach: “Nothing is ever as good as it seems, and nothing is ever as bad.” I heard Obama using this phrase in one of his campaign speeches. The effect is to set a tone that is calm, rational, considered, unflappable … all qualities most of us want in our global leaders.

Find a way to have a laugh. It sounds horribly trivial but humour is perhaps the most powerful tool we humans have for relieving tension. I have a client who keeps a few DVDs of his favourite comedy TV series in his office and flicks one on when he is feeling blue. Within a few minutes his mood is lifted and he feels able to face the world again. I am a huge fan of the two Ronnies and adore the “Fork ‘Andles’” sketch that they are most famous for. Whenever the “black dog” (as Churchill called his bouts with depression) visits, I force myself to flick it on for a giggle. The effect is bio-chemical, almost immediate, and inevitably positive. Go on -take five minutes now to type the name of your favourite comedian into Youtube and give yourself an emotional lift!

If you prefer something more philosophical, watch the “last lecture” speech given by Carnegie-Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, the 46-year-old father of three young children who was dying of pancreatic cancer. There is nothing quite so powerful as his unsentimental and utterly optimistic (and still crushingly poignant) words to put the crisis du jour into perspective.

2 Reacquaint yourself with a sense of purpose

The first thing any coach will do, whether she is a life coach or an executive coach, is to help you build a sense of purpose or mission.

People who have a mission in their life are, generally speaking, happier than those who do not. I am not a psychologist and so I cannot explain why this is. But I can share my own experience as an example: In these difficult times my service – leadership coaching – is one of the first to be axed from the corporate budget. Each week for the last four weeks another one of my largest clients called to tell me they are closing their coaching programmes for 2009. My experience of the economic downturn is very real and very scary because my life, like yours, is built on the expectation of a certain level of income.

The temptation is to start firing out emails and phone calls to anyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to discover new work – the ‘spray and pray’ approach. It is not entirely fruitless but exhausting, and I find my personal energy drained by dwelling on worst-case scenarios. Doing so demolishes self-esteem and pushes me further into a negative mood as I place myself at the mercy of other people; no longer in control of my work and life.

So – taking my own medicine, I have worked hard to reacquaint myself with a sense of direction, mission or purpose. And it has helped!

After many hours sitting in a coffee shop wondering what on earth I was going to do I did (re)discover a sense of purpose – and it parted clouds and let a ray of sunshine come beaming through. It created a feeling of focus and desire as I saw how I could create value not only for myself, but also, and more importantly, for other people. I know this sounds altruistic. But there is nothing better for lifting one’s mood than a mission that forces one to focus on helping others.

My personal mission is to do for leadership in schools what Jamie Oliver did for food. I have recently come across a ground-breaking method for developing leadership in organisations called “The Nine Conversations In Leadership”, and I think that schools are the places where we should be doing ground-breaking leadership development. The children of today are the leaders of tomorrow and I cannot think of a better way to use my experience, skills and passion than to help our schools produce young people with the leadership skills and awareness they require as they enter society as adults. Goodness knows we need it!

This mission might not generate a huge amount of money for me or anyone else. But it has given me focus and excitement, and that is what I need to feel in order to bring all my creativity and energy to bear. The optimism and sense of control over what I am doing makes many more things seem possible, even though nothing has actually changed about my situation. In difficult times we need people to feel this more than at any other time.

3 Find out how your people are feeling

Many of the clients I work with have little idea how their people are actually feeling. Many of us assume they know and so never make the effort to really find out. But there are several reasons why it is extremely important and very effective to invest time in this:

• Asking people how they are feeling gives you a much more accurate picture of the overall mood in the team and the business and also generates ideas what you can do about it.
• Given that people pick up emotions from you their feelings show you what you project.
• Talking to people about how they are feeling, especially if you listen well, makes them feel heard, understood and valued.

I do not think managers and leaders really grasp what a powerful and potent leadership tool listening is. Since it is not easily analysed, quantified, or directly linked to the business many of my clients believe it cannot really work. Nothing could be further from the truth. One of the things that make us feel most secure and motivated is the attention of our boss.

The most naturally skilled make chatting with people a quick, painless, even enjoyable part of their day. Those for whom chatting informally with their colleagues is a struggle find every possible excuse for not doing it. I have heard them all:

“People will think I’m weird if I suddenly start talking to them

about how they are feeling … I have never done it before.”

Yes! And your wife might think it is weird if you start taking home flowers and making supper once every few days but that does not mean she will not appreciate it!

“It just isn’t me and I need to be true to myself.”

So make it “you”! I can tell you from experience that those who work for leaders who engage with them on an emotional level are happier team members, colleagues and direct reports. Why? Because through talking to people and listening to their hopes, frustrations, fears, and feelings leaders tell their people that they value them. This is a fundamental part of good leadership, especially in a time of crisis.

You do not have to set up formal one-to-one meetings to sit people down and ask them how they are feeling. One CEO said he encourages his managers to make talking to their people about their feelings a part of everyday business. He encourages them to be informal and spontaneous about it, “swing by someone’s desk and ask them if they want to grab a sandwich every now and again”. Take someone else out for a sandwich the following week to prevent people feeling jealous or excluded. Spread the love around. Try to talk to everyone at least once a month on an informal basis.

Get to know your people as human beings and let them get to know you. In the darkest days, the loyalty and good feeling you build will repay the investment many times over.1

1 For further thoughts on this, read my December newsletter on Charisma and review the work of General Sir Mike Jackson.

4 Give people a plan, a routine and something to do

When Earnest Shackleton realised that he and his crew were marooned for the long-run, he quickly concluded that his first priority was to make people believe they would either get off the ice or die trying.

He understood that they had to try everything; he would not go to an icy grave wondering “what if?” As a consequence he created a constant stream of strategies and plans for getting home safely. What is more, throughout the endless nights of winter and the endless days of summer, Shackleton provided for his men a sense of rhythm and routine. He stuck religiously to the rota of duties and activities that had been established on board their ship, The Endurance, before she sank. Shackleton's men always knew where they were in the day or the week by the duties they were doing. And the duties gave them a sense that they were doing something, anything, that might help them escape. It may have been physically tough and occasionally all but useless. But activity kept idleness and hopelessness at bay.

I have a client who is self employed and in charge of a small property business. He has many talents and the freedom to decide what to do with the rest of his life. But right now he feels paralysed by the lack of structure and routine in his life. He even envies lawyers and doctors because of the routine and structure their careers give them. He has discovered that a clear set of daily tasks (no matter how mundane and domestic) gives him a strong sense of direction, purpose, and focus and makes him feel positive and energised. On days when there is nothing to do he slips into lethargy and self-doubt.

When the economy is depressed it is tempting to believe that nothing we do will have an impact. Even if this were fully true, engaging in activity, regardless of its “moving deck-chairs on the Titanic” rating, would improve the mood both of you and of your people.

I would like to paraphrase Stephen Covey, life-management guru and author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”: When the world seems depressed by forces beyond our control, the best we can do is focus on our “sphere of influence”, i.e. the things we do have power over. It might not change the global situation. But it will change the way we feel about it. And, as I mentioned earlier in this newsletter, leadership is about managing the way we feel about things.

So, in summary, I see four things every manager and leader can and should be doing as we move into the second quarter of recession:

1. Be calm and optimistic. Learn how to manage your own feelings and they way you show them to the world. Remember, “nothing is ever quite as good as it seems, and nothing is ever quite as bad”.
2. Reacquaint yourself with your sense of mission or purpose. This will take your focus away from destruction of value to its creation.
3. Find out how your people are feeling, keep talking and listening. They must know that you value them as human beings – and this will make them inestimably more positive and flexible when you most need them to be.
4. Make sure people have routine and structure in their days. Activity and predictability create positive emotions and can shed more positive light on even the worst situation.

Let me acknowledge again that all of the things I have talked about can be hard to do in the best of times. Leadership is incredibly tough. As a good friend of mine (a senior Director for a well known fashion brand) said to me recently, “the greatest challenge most leaders face is supporting and caring for people whilst making them and their colleagues redundant to save costs for the company.” Rather you than me, Joe!

On the other hand, sometimes the ability to talk confidentially about your stresses and strains with someone independent, objective and supportive of you is all it takes to relieve some of the pressure and make leadership possible again. This is why leadership coaches exist. And going back to the reason for this article -the economic crisis -, I find it ironic that budgets for coaching are being slashed when these are actually the times when coaching is needed most.

Finally, remember, in order to lead and support others you must first make sure you are in an stable, secure, and upbeat emotional state yourself. In other words, take care of yourself to take care of your team.

©Justin Bridge 2008